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disappointments
Wednesday, February 25, 2009, 9:16 PM
Gosh, i can't believe that i heard those few sentences from whom someone i knew fairly long. It's super disappointing to hear that. Especially when she's someone so close. You know, i still can't believe what the hell i've heard. i swear i felt like tearing the instance i heard that.

It's like so selfish. Yet, i can't say nor do anything about it for fear of straining the relationship. What do you mean by that? Now, we are facing a tremendous amount of homework and burdens stacking on our shoulders. So, it's only reasonable that we pay much more attention to our studies.

Yet, i don't think i'm neglecting anyone at all. I do listen, i do talk. It's just that our topics are hardly the same since we ain't in the same class anymore. Even xxx was disappointed when she got to know about it. I don't think i have done any thing to upset you people at all. Besides, i thought that you guys should be more understanding knowing that we are taking these subjects.

What? Even i feel like a stranger when i'm talking to you people sometimes. You keep your secrets amongst yourselves. You know how i felt that day when i was the only one amongst us 4 at the playground that did not know a single thing. I really felt like leaving immediately because i felt like a total stranger. I'm not being sensitive. Just utterly disappointed. Don't friends trust each other the most? How to communicate when we can't tease and joke around with each other?

Sometimes, i don't even know if people which are not within our clique felt more closer. Since i could just comfortably confront them with my stuffs. When i prompted aaa once... twice... thrice... countless times to leave for the school, she did not. When someone dearly special to her asked her just once, she stood up almost immediately. Did not show my temper, i was trying to hide my anger within myself. So, it seems like.. i wasn't making a false accusation of putting someone dearly special before friends.

During the time when i said that, i was merely kidding. So how true is it now? Don't know if we can even salvage this situation.